Freedom from anxiety
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I had a public speaking problem.
Whether I was presenting at a conference, speaking to a group of students or even delivering a pitch on a Zoom call, I’d get about two minutes in to my talk and it would happen. Even though I felt prepared and not particularly nervous, my voice would start to wobble. Suddenly worried that my audience would notice the strain, anxiety would kick in, sending me down a spiral where I got even wobblier and would practically start gasping for air.
Until, that is, I changed a single word. Not in my speeches, but in the way I thought about them.
I stopped trying to give the presentation, the one I had practiced and that was so perfectly laid out in my head. Instead, I just aimed to give a presentation.
From “the” to “a” may not seem like a big shift, but for me it changed everything.
After all, the people I was talking to had no idea what exactly I planned to say. They’d only notice something was off from my plan if I signaled it was. As long as I got my key points across, I would be successful.
When it comes to our careers, it’s easy to get stuck on finding the next job, the best company, the right fit. Really, all we have to do is find a job, a company, a fit that works for us in the moment.
Recently, a former colleague told me she thought I was really talented at leading events, and I told her how hard I’d worked to overcome the wobbles. She thought it just came easily to me. How often do we look at others’ careers the same way? When we compare our struggles to find meaningful roles with the parade of celebrations and successes on LinkedIn, without seeing the reality beneath the surface, it can make us feel like everyone else has the career figured out.
Well, I say it’s time we looked behind the curtain to reveal how the messy process of finding a career really unfolds.
To help us understand what it means to turn from the tyranny of “the” to the freedom of “a,” I’m happy to announce the Career River Navigator of the Month. Each month, I’ll be interviewing professionals about their own discoveries along their career journeys, especially those moments when carefully-laid plans fell apart and they had to move from the to a. If we can be more honest and open about how we have responded to challenging periods in our professional lives, maybe we’ll be able to remove some of the anxiety around making the “right” moves, to find the choices that are right for us.
Our first guest has been finding new opportunities after being laid off in August from his longtime job in TV news. Paid subscribers, ask your questions this week! And if you want access and you’re not currently being paid, email me at exploreyourriver@gmail.com and I’ll set you up at no cost.